Hoosier Homeschooler #2.003 | March, 2008

Authorities were called to the dining room of an Alexandria residence at around 10 a.m. this morning to apprehend an habitual art vandal for pouring a jug of white tempera paint onto a dark green carpet and a collection of artwork.

The youth had broken into the family's art supply cabinet and removed the lids of several new jugs of paint. She was apprehended in the process of pouring the last of the white paint onto the nearby carpet and a sketchbook containing priceless family artwork.

The suspect was immediately taken into custody to serve a two-minute sentence in the time-out chair on charges of vandalism, destruction of personal property and wasting family resources. She has since been released to family members on probation.

When asked why she would do such a thing, the perpetrator replied, "Paint, right there."

The perpetrator is three feet tall, has curly blond hair that is often pulled into two short ponytails at the sides of her head, dark brown eyes, and a limited vocabulary. Previous offenses include, but have not been limited to drawing on furniture and walls with marker, drawing on highchair with permanent marker, scribbling on homework papers, lesson plans and artwork, ripping up important papers, feeding children's toys and pencils to the puppy and breaking and eating crayons.

If you see this individual on the loose, authorities strongly advise that you lock up your art supplies and return her to her probation officers immediately.

HH Gallery Photo
Copyright B. B. Bennett

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